The power of pause

In our lives, we are all busy with our goals, ambitions, targets and responsibilities.

We love doing.

We are all doers.

At times we are so busy doing that we forget to pause.

We forget to pause to learn “why are we doing” and “how can we do better.”

When you are dancing on the dance floor, you cannot tell how elegant or clumsy are your dance steps. You really need to view yourself from the balcony to get a good picture.

Similarly, when you are doing, you can’t tell whether you could have done better. You need to step away and view yourself from the balcony. Viewing from the balcony is a metaphor for taking a pause and reflecting.

You pause and reflect to become more self aware.

Studies have shown that there is a positive correlation between self-awareness and high performing individuals.

Feeling overwhlemed? Take a pause.

Taking a pause is not

Taking a pause, is not about taking a break to engage in negative self talk. It is about removing the inner distractions to pause and reflect.

When you take a pause, you create a distraction free environment. You create a space which makes you think and reflect.

So, how do you take a pause?

Personally, I take a pause at the end of each day. That helps me think about 2 things in particular:

1. What more can I do?
2. What less should I do?

Similarly, you can create your own rituals. You can pause and self reflect during,

1. Morning walks
2. Performing Yoga
3. Reading a book
4. Talking to a mentor
5. Keeping open channels for people to share perspectives
6. Writing

Whatever ceremony helps you to be consciously aware of your inner self is a good time to reflect.

Reflect when you are in a space to reflect

Structure of self reflection

Typically you can divide self reflection into 2 categories:

You know what you know

When you self reflect and ask yourself questions about your actions and behaviors, you know what you did well or what you could have done better. For example, let’s say you had an argument with your colleague and you ended up being rude, you know you could have done better. This is a situation when you know what you can do better.

Wither you know how to improve

You don’t know what you don’t know

However, you will invariably find yourself in situations where you don’t know what you don’t know. For example, I think I handled a conflicting situation with my manager very well but I don’t know that I could have done any better. These are situations when you don’t know you could do better. This is when you need an external stimulus to reflect. You can do so by getting external help. Reading a book, listening to podcasts, talking to a mentor, or having open channels for hearing other’s perspectives can help in such situations.

or you dont. But self reflection helps in both cases.

Taking pause at work

In an effective team, there are ceremonies designed around self reflection and learning. The concept of periodic retrospectives is one such ceremony.

Typically in a periodic retrospective, a team reflects on:

1. What went well
2. What didn’t go well
3. Action Items

A retrospective forces you to take a pause from work and creates a safe space for folks to share perspectives.

Make a deliberate space at work to reflect.

What do you do when you take a pause?

You take a pause to either reinforce your existing knowledge or learn insights about yourself. You do so by asking some very simple questions:

For example, as an individual, you should ask:

1. What is enabling you to be your best?
2. What is preventing you from being your best?
3. What energizes you?

If you are in a team, you should ask:

1. What can you do differently to empower your team to be at its best?
2. What is preventing your team to be better than yesterday?
3. What energizes your team?

Building a culture to take a pause

Create that safe space where everyone can speak

A pause is as effective as the reflections it creates.

There are teams where a pause is taken however, it is not effective. Why?

Imagine, a retrospective ceremony where no one speaks up. Or another retrospective, where folks share judgements or evaluations instead of observations.

Just the ceremony of pause is not enough. You need to build a culture where teams are comfortable to share openly. So what do you do?

1. Ensure equity in conversations: Your team will be diverse. There will be folks who have recently joined along with experienced folks. There will be folks who don’t speak up along with extroverts. There will be those who like to follow while other who wish to lead. You need to create a culture of inclusivity where everyone is encouraged to speak.
2. Encourage vulnerability: Being vulnerable is not easy. Lead by example. Show that you are comfortable being a vulnerable leader. Someone who is not afraid to speak about his or her mistakes openly. Talk about your low moments. Once you model this behavior, it will help the team to open up and share where they need help.
3. Encourage questioning status quo: Humans are averse to change. This aversion drives stagnation. Build a team where the team wishes to question the status quo. Allow free passage of ideas that make every passing day better than the previous day.
4. Enable a safe environment: Create an environment of psychological safety. In such an environment individuals feel comfortable expressing their thoughts without getting interrupted. Ensure folks don’t dismiss others’ contributions. Encourage risk-taking and emphasize that mistakes are learning opportunities.
5. Walk the talk: Recognize and reward speaking up by acknowledging and rewarding individuals who speak up and contribute positively.

As I said earlier, self reflecting individuals make it big in life. Self reflecting teams are considered high performing as well. So, if you do not have such ceremonies in your team, then time to take a pause and reflect.

Statistics show that 78% of folks will take a pause while reading this blog post and not reach the end. If you are the other 22% who are reading this line, then give a pat on your back since this is the right time to pause and take action.

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